re:Visit - Darfur: The Noo’ European Capital Of Coo’!

A press release from the EU Coo' Commission has today confirmed that bookies' favourite Darfur has been crowned as the "European Capital of Coo’".

It’s a double coup for Darfur - which beat outsiders Islamabad and Basra to the title - coming in the same week that the Janjaweed came first in the Sunday Times' renowned “100 Best Militias to Die For” supplement.

(CNN cover the post-victory celebrations in Darfur)

Unsurprisingly, the odds on Darfur to pick up the "Holy Trinity" by scooping the gold at "The Despotic Regime of the Decade Awards" in Norwich next week have been slashed to 11/2. Should special guest presenter (and incumbent title holder) Bobby Mugabe elect Darfur it would cap a truly incredible period for the region, as it will become only the third winner to take home the treble this century, following in the legendary footsteps of Hitler's Nazi Germany and re:Spectacle fave Serbia’s own Slobby M.

As you dun best already know, the tastemongers here at re:Spectacle are light years ahead of the establishment game and we've been tipping Sudan as THE summer hotspot for the past 4 years! And, more importantly, we've also supported the scene through our co-sponsorship of the Ethnic Dutty Festival alongside AK –The Home of the 47.com.

So keep your specs condensation-free as the ‘09 line up is about to be revealed, and rumours abound that there will be a very special blast from the past. (Exclusive weapons only deals available through http://www.ak-thehomeofthe47.com/ - quote "re:spec11" on booking to claim 50 free mud-hut piercing bullets.)

For those who’ve been slacking, here’s a quick run through of the where to be seen to be coo’ when you head to Africa’s most banging province…

Where to eat and drink:

Options are slightly limited by widespread famine at the moment, but there is a cracking little well slightly off the beaten track in DF212. There are very few tourists here so the atmosphere is incredible, and if you’re lucky you might just catch an acoustic set from local legends the Tahat Kahunas.

Where to stay:

The Red Cross have a fantastic selection of tents on the Western province catering for all budgets.

What to do:

For the more culturally minded, Darfur offers plenty of highly authentic kidnapping programmes. However, due to their authenticity these events can vary quite dramatically in both quality and price, although the payment - or 'release fee' as it is often referred to by the hundred or so kidnap operators in the area - can usually be negotiated part way through the experience. A word of note however: most operators do not accept credit cards or traveller's cheques, although loss of life is usually taken as payment in full.

Verdict:

Tyranny - 7/10

Ethnic Tension - 8/10

Water Parks – 2/10

Excoo'siveness - 9/10

Phillustrious Schofield

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