lite2.gif)
Ever feel like you’ve lost your desire to va-va-voom the mi-mi-masses?
Ever feel a bit, well, fat? (that’s right, we tell sh*t like it IS, yo)
Do not fear.
re:Spectacle is here to tickle your fancy with all manner of make-over madness.
Felicity Newfunk is a happy, well rounded bitch with two kids (Juan-Antonio and Deepak) and successful banker husband, Terrance. The Newfunks live in affluent rural Wainshire. Without any visuals, this all sounds rather nice, dunt it?
BOOOM.
She’s slightly overweight.
Due to Felicity’s overwhelming morbid obesity, re:Spectacle is doing what’s good and Christian and stepping the f*ck in to right this wrong.
We put Felicity on a training regime used by the likes of Stefsheen Malano and Honey Wingood. The ins and outs of the Chaucer Technique are guarded secrets, but it’s pretty clear from the results that it works good. Real good. Like a diligent little soul they have in a Primark factory.
Look at that visage. Hark at her frontal facial ambience. Weep with joyous frivolity when taking a sideways glance at her eyebrow shape.
Shortly after the treatment was complete, Felicity started a new life. Gone are the shackles of her ever-demanding children. Long forgotten are the chains of her previous marriage. Felicity is now avec-agent and looking for work on reality shows worldwide.
In the words of Gordon Ramsey, re:Spectacle DONE.
0 comments:
Post a Comment