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Bopping casually over the bridge between fashion, media, arts, politics and more, re:Spectacle brings you only the finest and most current and up-to-date nowshit that’s available on the scene.
Get ready to feel absorbatronic, as we fire the sexiest interviews, reviews, artwork, photo-shoots and features (plus more) straight out of the ‘fresh’ cannon and into your famished think-muscles.
“Culture is not just a concept, it’s an idea - if you’re not thinking it then you’re not thinking.“
Now show us some re:Spectacle, biatch.
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re:Presenters
Name: Will Benn
A.K.A.: Bling Crosby
Age: √576
Likes: Indicator lights, sell-by-dates, Ghanaians and the phrase ‘and the phrase’
Dislikes: Breathing, not breathing, haterz (they know who they are) and ‘Cutey-Wutey Little Bunny-Wunny Munchkin Treat’ cereal cookie-bar-snack-cakes
Don’t: Stand so close to me
Background: Formed by accident in a Swedish laboratory when a reasonably eccentric scientist attempted to cross a pen with another, marginally smoother pen. Afta dat he mita did sum tings I fink. Fluent in both Braille and sub-titles.
True As F*ck: Will is one of only two former Milky Bar Kids able to sneeze marmite on request. But don’t you dare ask him to - he don’t do requests luv.
A.K.A.: Bling Crosby
Age: √576
Likes: Indicator lights, sell-by-dates, Ghanaians and the phrase ‘and the phrase’
Dislikes: Breathing, not breathing, haterz (they know who they are) and ‘Cutey-Wutey Little Bunny-Wunny Munchkin Treat’ cereal cookie-bar-snack-cakes
Don’t: Stand so close to me
Background: Formed by accident in a Swedish laboratory when a reasonably eccentric scientist attempted to cross a pen with another, marginally smoother pen. Afta dat he mita did sum tings I fink. Fluent in both Braille and sub-titles.
True As F*ck: Will is one of only two former Milky Bar Kids able to sneeze marmite on request. But don’t you dare ask him to - he don’t do requests luv.
Name: Tom Turnbull
A.K.A.: Jon Bon Jovial
Age: Strictly 16+. I'm not an animal.
Likes: Mountain Dew, curreh, pointless punctuation,.:
Dislikes: Harry Potter, wasabi, fennel, famine and that
Bad Habit: Staring at elbows mid-conversation
Background: Raised by Inuits in Jacksonville, Florida. Thought about, forgotten, remembered, misplaced. Previous jobs include ghost, male Ford Escort and dietician.
True as F*ck: Contrary to popular opinion, the moniker 'Jon Bon Jovial' is not a play on Jon Bon Jovi, but a chance typo when trying to write 'Brainz'
A.K.A.: Jon Bon Jovial
Age: Strictly 16+. I'm not an animal.
Likes: Mountain Dew, curreh, pointless punctuation,.:
Dislikes: Harry Potter, wasabi, fennel, famine and that
Bad Habit: Staring at elbows mid-conversation
Background: Raised by Inuits in Jacksonville, Florida. Thought about, forgotten, remembered, misplaced. Previous jobs include ghost, male Ford Escort and dietician.
True as F*ck: Contrary to popular opinion, the moniker 'Jon Bon Jovial' is not a play on Jon Bon Jovi, but a chance typo when trying to write 'Brainz'
Name: Rob Waddell
A.K.A.: Bob Crunkhouse
Age: Continuous
Likes: puns, George Alagiah, offal and sofas.
Dislikes: sofa adverts, flaky elbows, forced smiles and Kent.
Favourite Use of Blank Space:
Background: Hatched deep within the Segusvar citadel, Transylvania, Bob soon fled to Hungary to carve out a career in Mongol invasion where he excelled in the art of pillaging until he completely forgot what he went upstairs for in the first place.
A.K.A.: Bob Crunkhouse
Age: Continuous
Likes: puns, George Alagiah, offal and sofas.
Dislikes: sofa adverts, flaky elbows, forced smiles and Kent.
Favourite Use of Blank Space:
Background: Hatched deep within the Segusvar citadel, Transylvania, Bob soon fled to Hungary to carve out a career in Mongol invasion where he excelled in the art of pillaging until he completely forgot what he went upstairs for in the first place.
True As F*ck: Bob helped coin the popular phrases "grab that child by it's throat, I don't like the way it's crying at me" and "smash, smash, smash, smash, smash".
Name: Tom Mills
A.K.A.: Phillustrious Schofield
Age: 8,484 lunar cycles
Likes: Kiwis (the fruit), neo-classical avant-garde friendship, Poirot - Series 1
Dislikes: Obtuse chins
Essential Accessory: Faux-nylon mochaccino USB stick
Background: Beginning his career as a roofer on the gentle slopes of Norbiton Hill, a chance encounter in Feb 1992 led to ten minutes of intensive soul searching. Since then Tom has immersed himself in the bugle mergers & acquisition game and truly hasn't looked back. Not even a sneaky peek over his shoulder.
True As F*ck: Tom is credited with being the first human to introduce the concept of Ribena to the Philippines. In his spare time he now mentors and sponsors other berry loving entrepreneurs as they look to expand their international portfolio.
A.K.A.: Phillustrious Schofield
Age: 8,484 lunar cycles
Likes: Kiwis (the fruit), neo-classical avant-garde friendship, Poirot - Series 1
Dislikes: Obtuse chins
Essential Accessory: Faux-nylon mochaccino USB stick
Background: Beginning his career as a roofer on the gentle slopes of Norbiton Hill, a chance encounter in Feb 1992 led to ten minutes of intensive soul searching. Since then Tom has immersed himself in the bugle mergers & acquisition game and truly hasn't looked back. Not even a sneaky peek over his shoulder.
True As F*ck: Tom is credited with being the first human to introduce the concept of Ribena to the Philippines. In his spare time he now mentors and sponsors other berry loving entrepreneurs as they look to expand their international portfolio.
1 comments:
So Bon Jovial - how did the purloined sanitary pads (via abuse on the tube) go down with the missus then?
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